走火入魔

I was confused about how to translate my jumbled thoughts and feeling into words in this entry. Things were too bizarre for me to take in.

Still remember the discipline camp I mentioned in the last entry? Last week, the other two F.4 classes went to that camp and were back on Friday. Actually their manic behaviours and post-camp ecstasy are nothing new and surprising though it's still unsettling. But what disturbed (and enraged) me most is that students are not the only one who have changed. Someone else has changed too.

Let me start with what happened in the camp which I skipped in the previous entry.

It's sorta of a military camp, so in addition to a varity of leadership training and group building activities, students were trained to obey totally. Whenever they failed to do so or to accomplish the tasks, they would be punished--by being shredded what's left in their dignity; like crawling on the floor, barking, saying aloud "I am a nerd", to name a few. Whenever the camp trainer spoke, students had to stoop down to listen (a hierarchy of authority was reinforced in this way).

There's also a music therapy session in which students were placed in a dimly lit room and asked to contemplate on life and their wrong-doings in the past while listening to songs with positive lyrics. On the other side of the room sat a few teachers (their class teachers, discipline teachers and the principal) to whom students could confess when they felt like to. Students would kneel in front of the teachers with tear-stained faces and beg them for their pardons.

On Friday when all five F.4 classes completed the military training, the principal asked the whole form to gather in the hall for a "debriefing" session.

The principal was overjoyed with the success of the camp (read: students' blind surrender to authority) and on stage, she instigated the crowd to hurl slogans and pushed them to an emotional high. She tried to mimic the camp trainers by devaluating the students' effort in a bid to push them to do better (read: shout more loudly. For what? Who knows).

She sounded possessed--possessed by her own demon within, a self of which she may not be aware. After two students leaders made their speech on stage, not being happy with their performance, she turned to the crowd and asked: "Are you happy with their speech?"

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Their reply pierced the air.

In her fumbled excitement, she continued: "What should we do if they fail to do their job?" At the same time she waved her hands to mimic a stir-frying action (in Cantonese, "stir-fry" means to sack somebody). Obviously she was suggesting an answer.

The crowd seemed oblivious to her gesture and shouted: "To encourage them!"

In a flash, the principal was stuck and seemed aware of her dark side. But very quickly, she resumed the camp-trainer role.

Toward the end of the so-called debriefing session, students lifted their class teachers like kings and queens, honouring their affection.

Before dismissing the crowd , the principal said: "I really enjoy watching classes C and D doing the duck jumping (note: it's one of their punishments in the camp)." Upon hearing this, the students stooped down and jumped, quacking like ducks at the same time.

After the debriefing session, I could still hear students chanting their slogans here and there around the school.

I was paralyzed in shock and anger by what happened. The infamous Stanford prison experiment came to my mind.

In the experiment, the assigned guards internalised their roles so profoundly that they had lost themselves and manipulated their power over the prisoners. They enjoyed their roles so much that they were willing to work extra hour without pay. The experiment which were planned to last 2 weeks was terminated after 6 days because of the unexpectedly violent situation getting out of hand.

I could see the guard in the principal.

The principal has imitated and later internalised the camp-leader's role to harness the fresh conformity instilled into the students. She had never wielded such power over them before and such a sudden, long-awaited enpowerment seems to have bewitched her. She didn't torture them or slave them or whatever, but she did enjoy manipulating students with her new found power.

Once you have tasted a piece of chocolate, you desire a bar. The principal has already expressed her interest in placing students from other forms in these military camps. I dread to think about what would happen if the whole school acts like an army of Red Guards.

I couldn't stop pondering over what have happened.

Do we have a free will?

Somehow, I can't deny that we as human beings are weak and impressionable. Sometimes, we can be made to do almost anything by the strength of the situation but not out of our inherent dispositions. Not only our behaviours but also our minds are conditioned by the environment.

I still remember when I was at university, a professor asked the class if we would join the Red Guards during the Cultural Revolution. A friend of mine said she probably would as the revolution was too overwhelming; it took a mighty willpower to get a grip of one's independent mind.

I think she's right.

Well, I do understand that neither nature nor nurture wins the century long debate. But in this case, the environment seems to have advantage over our minds and behaviours.

I may have gone too far as the effect of the 4-day military would not last too long as the reality closes in. But I felt bad enough about the whole scenario.

Anyway, I will wait and see what happens in the coming week.

*****************************************************

Last Thursday, I joked about the discipline camp in the staff room. I said I would kneel in front of the principal with pearls of tear rolling down my face, apologizing for always being late for submitting students' work for book inspections and for not preparing my lessons before I land myself in the classrooms.

We were laughing hard until I spotted the principal standing at the back of the staff room.

Oooooops.

Just been caught.