I'll get the job done.

I'm not the influential type of teacher--someone who is experienced, authoritative yet respectable. I'm more like the big-sister type. I would be happy and touched enough when some students tell me that they like English because of me (taken into account that I have no burning passion for the language in the first place).

A few days ago, a F.7 student came up to me and told me that he wanted to become a teacher like me, and thus he decided to study English Studies or Education at university. Actually, he was the student who thought my lesson was crappy 4 years ago when I first taught him (and I never taught him again after that year).

My first reaction is: Gosh... don't be a teacher.
My second reaction: English Studies is damn boring. (no offense...)
My third reaction: A teacher like me?! you kidding?
My forth reaction: Well... thank you. Thank you for letting me know that I didn't waste 5 years here and tragically find that I haven't achieved anything till the day I leave.

I have never thought that I would have such an influence on students. I'm never a prominant figure at school. Actually, I don't think I have done my job well.

I still remember the times I sank into an emotionally low point after being hurled by mean, ungrounded and obviously irrational comments from students (still remember the hate emails? They are just the tip of an iceberg). I wonder why I have to be hurt like this, one time after another. And I wonder why I have to bear their childish yet barbarian behaviours. I think I'm able to detach myself after all these years but actually I can't. For countless times I scrunched miserably in the staff room after a tiring day staring at nothingness, feeling drained, holding back my tears (and sometimes anger), wondering why I couldn't get my job done like others. I have never stopped asking myself why I still go on.

But when the gloom fades, I know the blessings keep me here--the little something students made me, their cards, their thank-yous, their affection and most important of all, their change of attitudes and perspectives. The feeling that I did change somebody's life here-in a positive way I believe-makes me this far.

I know that the hurt and tumble I've felt here will one day become blessings which nestle into my memories forever and offer me a buffer wherever I go. In the meantime, I'll try my best to get the job done.