GGgggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

I strongly advise CUHK to offer MA in Linguistics in distant mode to local students (be they part-time or full-time) since I can absolutely see no point in being physically present in the lecture theatre when the lecturers are just PowerPoint or, even worse, PowerParagraph readers or paraphrasing assigned readings and textbooks without appropriate demonstrations or elaboration, giving personal insights or facilitating discussions (with such a large class size).

I can also see no point in having attendance as one of the assessment criteria of Master classes while I, as a student, can't possibly benefit from making a full-house scene or just sitting there given the above situation.

What's worse, having made attendance 10-15% worth of the total mark (while a paper or a presentation, which takes an ample amount of real academic work, accounts for around 20%--only 5% more), some lecturers try to test your patience and physical strength by circulating the attendance sheet in the last 10 minutes or in a randomized pattern so that they can make sure you can tolerate until the last minute.

All the lectures I was so eager to attend when I did my first degree did not take attendance.

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Right... enough grumbling. Time to get back to the readings.

Good news & Bad news

Good news

Got my IELTS result finally (actually only 2 weeks after the exam) and was relieved to see that beautifully shaped 8.0 printed on my report.

I admit that I was a bit disappointed to be unable to get the full 9 marks in the listening and reading parts since they were unbelievably easy. And it is sort of expected that I didn't do well in writing (always my weakest part). For speaking, the grade is fair enough though I believe I would have done better had I not been too nervous that I kept stuttering and self-correcting throughout the whole interaction.

Anyway, I'm grateful enough I don't have to retake it coz it's bloody expensive.

Bad news

I was bouncing on my way to a gathering in a wonderful holiday mood when I received a call from Garfield, my old friend and current classmate of the Master class, and was informed that I'm having a mid-term on Wednesday which I have totally been unaware of. In an instant, my emotion took a U-turn and slumped into a groundless abyss.

I was fully occupied today and have a full-day work plan tomorrow. I will start work officially on Tuesday which leaves me no time to look at my lecture notes and readings. What's worse, I don't understand a thing in lectures. The class discussion has always revolved around 'grounded' and 'ungrounded' (or 'granted' & 'ungranted', God knows) and I don't get a faint idea of what the lecturer's talking about. Usually I would doze off half of the lecture while day-dreaming in the other half. I don't know how I can deal with it.

By the way, I've got a speech to make on Wednesday (sort of teacher sharing stuff in the morning assembly) and of course, I haven't prepared a bit.

Back to the stark reality.

Doomed.

Movie Recommendation: Running with Scissors

I'm no review type of person coz I'm never expressive enough to translate my good or bad feelings into a lengthy analysis of why I feel that way. The only thing I'm capable of writing about a movie or a book or even a restaurant will be either 'good' or 'bad, or 'so-so' if it falls somewhere in between. Well, words like 'very' and 'quite' will definitely make my comments more sophisticated but stars are most helpful in scaling my likeness.

For this movie, I'll give it 10/10 stars and so far the best one I've watched this year, DVDs included (FYI: I've also watched Little Miss Sunshine and The Lives of Others which was previously my favourite). That's why I try to write about it here despite my review handicap.

Let me feed you the synopsis first like other reviews do. Based on the bestselling personal memoirs of Augusten Burroughs who is now an advertising elite in Manhattan, Running with Scissors depicts how young Augusten was abandoned by his alcoholic dad and his mentally unstable mum who turned into a lesbian after the divorce. Augusten was then left in custody with his mum's therapist, Dr. Finch, whose family was no more normal than the Addams. Yet, he felt the long-lost motherly love in Mrs. Finch. Gay puppy love, school skipping and journal writing have since characterized his childhood. At the age of 15, he walked out of the identity crisis and decided to pursue his life on his own.

Being the director cum screenwriter (also the creator of Nip/Tuck), Ryan Murphy has again proven his talent in handling pathetic plots though this one did not dig deep enough into its roots and wounds. With a bit of psychology knowledge, one will enjoy the hilarious, witty dialogue and the pathetic yet heartrending plot. It's not difficult to find yourself laugh and sob with Augusten. One will be thrilled to know how the teenage Augusten has actually survived the Finches which are psychotic enough to fit in a series of psychological disorders and make a perfect illustrating tool in a psychology lecture. Actually, Augusten has co-authored a book called Abormal Psychology & Running with Scissors following the success of his memoir.

The story is fictional enough to be made an interesting movie but the fact that it was real gives the movie (and the book) a gimmick to market and wow the audience, even though the real Finch family filed a lawsuit against Augusten for fabricating and exaggerating part of the story (but lawsuits like this will only fuel public curiosity and boost the marketing of the movie). Without that touch of reality that backs the story up and the fact that Augusten is now a sought-after advertising agent-turned-writer, the whole movie will be pointless (would the log-the-Cherry-Tree-then-come-clean tale be widely told if Washington the first US President was not that little boy who did it?). After all, the public is after something fictionally real nowadays (look at the success of the pseudo-reality shows).

As for the music, again all I can say is fantastic and the 70s selection goes perfectly well with the mood of the movie.

Movies of this type--no CG-laden action movie, oscar nominated film or money-splashing big production--can never make its way to the theatres here. This one is no exception (correct me if I'm wrong) even though I think it is commercial enough to have Augusten Burroughs the bestselling author's childhood as the plot and Gwyneth Paltrow starred as one of the Finches. Well...if Tsotsi the best Oscar foreign movie and the Live of Others the Oscar foreign movie nominee are only shown in dismally few theatre houses in Hong Kong, it's not surprising to find this one released on DVD only.

I've checked IMDb and rottentomatoes about this movie and the comments are rather polarized--you love it or you hate it--and there's no lukewarm feeling. Those who hate it belong to the book-before-movie group who loves the book but is discontent with the lousy movie adaptation. So I assume if I like the movie, I'll love the book.

You may doubt my taste now that I admit preferring Running with Scissors to the Lives of Others. I like serious movies of course but I always prefer hilarious ones (Thank You for Smoking is another favourite of mine and this one is much better than Running with Scissors).

I'm looking forward to reading this book and Dry which is also written by Augusten about his post-adolescence life but I think I can only do it in the next long holiday at Easter.

P.S. I know my writing is overloaded with brackets, but I just can't help it. Please tolerate them.

I'll get the job done.

I'm not the influential type of teacher--someone who is experienced, authoritative yet respectable. I'm more like the big-sister type. I would be happy and touched enough when some students tell me that they like English because of me (taken into account that I have no burning passion for the language in the first place).

A few days ago, a F.7 student came up to me and told me that he wanted to become a teacher like me, and thus he decided to study English Studies or Education at university. Actually, he was the student who thought my lesson was crappy 4 years ago when I first taught him (and I never taught him again after that year).

My first reaction is: Gosh... don't be a teacher.
My second reaction: English Studies is damn boring. (no offense...)
My third reaction: A teacher like me?! you kidding?
My forth reaction: Well... thank you. Thank you for letting me know that I didn't waste 5 years here and tragically find that I haven't achieved anything till the day I leave.

I have never thought that I would have such an influence on students. I'm never a prominant figure at school. Actually, I don't think I have done my job well.

I still remember the times I sank into an emotionally low point after being hurled by mean, ungrounded and obviously irrational comments from students (still remember the hate emails? They are just the tip of an iceberg). I wonder why I have to be hurt like this, one time after another. And I wonder why I have to bear their childish yet barbarian behaviours. I think I'm able to detach myself after all these years but actually I can't. For countless times I scrunched miserably in the staff room after a tiring day staring at nothingness, feeling drained, holding back my tears (and sometimes anger), wondering why I couldn't get my job done like others. I have never stopped asking myself why I still go on.

But when the gloom fades, I know the blessings keep me here--the little something students made me, their cards, their thank-yous, their affection and most important of all, their change of attitudes and perspectives. The feeling that I did change somebody's life here-in a positive way I believe-makes me this far.

I know that the hurt and tumble I've felt here will one day become blessings which nestle into my memories forever and offer me a buffer wherever I go. In the meantime, I'll try my best to get the job done.