‘Life is too short to be taken seriously.’—Oscar Wilde

I am serious about my life.

I mean, I try to be serious about my life, in my own sense of seriousness.

Subsidizing my undergraduate studies with two part-time jobs is being serious.

Quitting the lucrative private tuition job to go for a less-paying teaching post at a night school is being serious.

(Even though I didn’t mean to be a teacher in the first place) Staying in the teaching profession for the past five years is being serious.

Quitting the secure teaching job is being serious.

Pursuing a 2-year full-time Masters degree at almost 30 is being serious.

Being vegetarian (even though it’s just the lacto-ovo type of vegetarianism) is being serious.

Not being Christian is being serious.

Not being settled with just any one is being serious.

But what for?

Sometimes it’s just too tiring to be serious especially about life.

When even relaxation means maximization of life, it’s just too much.

Would I be happier were I not so serious? Is being happy what I exactly want? Is it good enough to be happy?

I want more from myself, that’s why I am serious. Or I am serious, so I want more from myself? Sometimes, cause and effect are woven into each other so deeply that they become each other.

I can’t afford to be weak.

But what for?

I am too tired tonight. It is one of those nights when I consume myself in thinking until it hurts badly; until I lose myself.

Cereal and Raw Mushroom

I don’t like cereal.

Well, I did have developed some sort of passion for it during my stay in Edinburgh. I had it at breakfast, sometimes lunch, and very occasionally dinner (when I didn’t feel like eating raw veggie salad prepared by the host). At that time, I did believe that I liked cereal. It’s crunchy, tasty, nutritious. It made a good meal anytime of a day. And I wondered why I had never discovered how wonderful it was before.

When I got back to Hong Kong after those two months, I wanted to maintain my healthy breakfast routine (instead of washing down bananas with pots of green tea) and thus bought a big box of the cereal I used to love in Scotland. It was left untouched after I had the first bite.

So now I wash down bananas with green tea at breakfast every day.

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I didn’t like raw mushroom.

Well, I didn’t even know that I could eat it raw until I was offered it as a salad during my stay in Edinburgh. Actually, I hate eating raw veggies (especially carrot and celery…yuck…) but when it is the only plate on your dining table (did I mention Edinburgh? Where everything closes at 5 pm?), you have to have it. If eating raw carrot and celery made me sick, eating a mushroom raw was the most freakish salad eating experience I had ever had.

However, something mystical happened after I got back to Hong Kong. I had raw mushroom salad flashback from time to time. And I actually missed it. Yes, I missed raw mushroom salad.

So now I have raw mushroom in my sandwich at lunch almost every day.

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If I were to stay in Scotland for the rest of my life, I would be a cereal lover and raw mushroom hater. However, the fact is it was just a very short phase in life.

The trouble is, sometimes human emotions work like taste buds that you never know whether something/someone is cereal or raw mushroom until you grow out of a phase and sometimes a phase can last long enough for you to believe that it's actually part of your inherent traits.

Our behaviours and emotions are conditioned by our environment (a-predisposedly-religious-person-end-up-being-a-Catholic-in-the-Philippines-or-a-Buddhist-in-Tibet-or-a-Muslim-in-Pakinstan sort of argument). I wonder if we ever truly like something because of what it is instead of what others are or where we are. Do we like something/someone in absolute terms or relative ones?

My passion for cereal was so real that I've lost confidence in my judgment.

More trees...anyone?

I've finally finished this semester. Can't believe how fast time has passed. Despite some minor health problems, I'm rather surprised that I'm functioning reasonably well both physically and psychologically (sorta... provided that the base line is not very high in the first place). Now that I've finished the first semester, I have one month of winter break with which I don't know what to do. I was actually hijacked by the fear of being planless this morning when I woke up and desperately in search of something to fill the time this afternoon.

But still... no plans....

uuuurrrrggggghhhh..... can feel the fear growing within......

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Went to the city yesterday and hit the Botanic Garden and Shrine of Remembrance. Got a wedding present for my friend, tried some Italian food with my friend, and came across a very funny tram driver. A pretty productive day :)

I didn't really plan to visit this Shrine of Remembrance but it just sorta popped up on my way to the Botanic Garden.


This is the Remembrance Garden. Should look better at sunset but clouds were gathering which completed block the golden light from the setting sun.



The view from the balcony of the Shrine...

Botanic Garden.... The ground was carpetted by yellowish fallen leaves. A nice spot for picnic.
Imagine a pair of shiny eyes and jagged teeth in the tree shadow... doesn't it look like a monster?*******************************************************
This possum sneaked into my garden last night. At first I didn't notice it resting next to the wondow, but then it turned its head and stared right into my eyes when I climbed the stairs back to my room and caught me off guard.

It then jumped onto the tree with its gaze still fixated on me...

I hope that the flashlight didn't blind its eyes...