With the irrationally ballooning stock market, 2006 has extinguished itself in the long-awaited economic upbeat--whether it is a bubble or a reality (who cares!). Newspaper headlines were overflowing by happier, richer crowds whose shopaholism works wonder for the economy. For a moment, we can convince ourselves that we have risen like a phoenix from the ashes of SARS and economic doldrum and the coming 2007 looks rosier than ever before (come on, it is the New Year Day).
For me, time seems to run faster every year. I just can't believe how fast I have to write a new year resolution
again. But what I really can't believe is, I have no resolutions to write about this year (you know, normally I've got a few bullet points to list).
Well...I've got a recycled one, actually. But I'll get back to it later. Now, let's first have a review of last year, as we always do before having a preview of next year.
With a quick rewind, I'm a bit terrified to find that last year was more or less the same as the year before. Chained to the same job which job duties are more or less the same and the same Master programme which coursework chokes you, if not bores you, to death, you just can't expect any dynamics or surprises in life. At work, I can feel that I'm being marginalized which may actually be good as it gives me some determination I need to make changes.
Same as the year before, I muddled everything through. My performance at work and study was just equally crappy.
If you're under the impression that I don't like my job, you're just partially right. The job still gives meaning to my life. It's just that, enough is enough. Anyway, it's good to leave with some good memories.
Despite the gloom cast by my work and study, there's still light last year. One of the experiences that helped me regain my equilibrium is my solo travel to Japan in summer. Not only was it an outward journey to a land I've never been, it's also an inward journey to a self I've never known.
The books
Many Lives, Many Masters and
The Tibetan Book of Life and Death (for this, I could only go through half of it) have somewhat adjusted my life perspectives. I felt like discovering myself as a homosexual while I used to think I was a hardcore heterosexual--literally speaking, of course.
As for the preview of next year, it has put my life on alarm as it is as gloomy as the review.
I would expect the same as last year in the first half of 2007. For the second half, it remains a question mark. Actually, I'm rather lost in confusion these days as I don't know what to do with my future. I would probably quit my current job but what's next? That's my problem.
I want to make change but I'm not confident enough. And, I'm afraid to take a risk that big.
Anyway, this is my new year resolution--to settle a full-time study plan for 2008. I've got a Plan B and a Plan C but I'm not sure whether I really want to go for them.
I know it's time for me to actually do something in order to make things work.
I hope things do work accordingly eventually.
In the meantime, happy new year, everyone.
