Sunday, October 23, 2005

Happy Halloween

Imagine a girl looking older than her age slouches around with drooping eyes, swelled eyebags, a body owing its chubbiness to stress-driven binging, and a lifeless face ever gravitating to the ground.

You are not imagining any Halloween ghost. You are imagining me.

Obviously I'm well-prepared for the upcoming Halloween and scary enough without any make-up.

What's more, I have developed Didaskaleinophobia (don't ask me how to pronounce it...). To put it simply, I've got a hopeless fear to go to school.

The thought of returning to work plunged me into darkest despair. Luckily, the sense of responsibility and the remaining bit of willpower pull me away from the thought of calling the school every morning and begging for a day of sick leave.

How long can one sustain without a soul?

I will put myself on experiment and tell you the answer later.

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Does the above entry sound familiar? It's because my life is re-running the same scene over and over again...

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These days, I strongly feel that I am an uncultured person. My mind is drying up.....

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Amazing Trip

Two Saturdays ago, my sister and her husband held a belated wedding banquet in Hong Kong and the day after that, they (to be correct, my father) held one in Mainland--our Mainland root.

My father said, it's the tradition. I said, it's his face. XD

Anyway, it's an interesting experience to have a wedding banquet in my father's childhood home as our line of blood begins there. What's more, we're holding the banquet in an age-old family shrine.



祖屋 Grand Old House

This's where my father grew up. My grandma and my aunts and uncles still live there.














古氏大宗祠 The Kus Shrine
This is the family shrine where the banquet was held. Can you see the words hanging above?










Here is the close-up.












古府鳳宴 The Kus Banquet

My family is rather prestigious there, haha...
















So this is the courtyard of the shrine..










龍舟頭 Dragon Boat Head

This is the dragon head housed in the shrine. Every Dragon Boat Festival, it heads the boat the villagers ride. My father is one of them.





Strangers, to me
A line of villagers were coming to our banquet. My father was on top of the world as people kept hurling congratulations at him (mind you, not my sister and brother-in-law). I think my dad knows half of the population in the village.

For me, I just smiled mechanically beside my dad.




天字一號 Tian-zi No.1
A bottle of rice wine, a bottle of Tian-zi no. 1 (a vinegar drink) and a pack of double-happiness cigarette were already placed on each table.








The food

These were the dishes at the banquet. Instead of delivering the dishes one by one as in Hong Kong, they will deliver all the dishes at once. In fact, I prefer this way as I can eat whatever I like in whatever sequence. And it really looked like a feast, didn't it?






Fire-crackers

A long string of fire crackers to be blasted at the end of the banquet.











It's nearly mid-night when I got home that night. I had two days of wedding banquet but had no work done (not even the homework for my master course due on Monday) nor enough sleep over those 2 days.

Anyway, there's only one wedding banquet for this particular sister of mine in my life (hopefully), so I think it's worth my time. By the way, I have already got used to the sleep-deprived way of life.

Friday, October 07, 2005

I...

I should be strong even though I never am;
I should hold on even though I am all by myself;
I should love myself even though I don't want to;
I should rely on myself even though I always want a shelter;

I should never break down even when life tries to break me;
I should never give up even when nothing else seems to work;
I should never lose my faith even when others don't understand a thing;
I should never flinch even when I am under unbearable pressure from work, study and family.

I used to take care of myself well--my emotion, my health, my study, my career, maybe my finance--alone; and I try to take care of my family well.

I am independent enough--emotionally, financially and physically.

That is something I'm proud of.

I will never let myself fall.

Never.

Ever.